Always Something Left to Love
by sea.hag
Summary: When Haruka Nanase, a philosophy major who struggles with social anxiety, meets a literature student and part-time baker named Makoto Tachibana, he begins to question why he ever thought he'd be better off alone. ﾟ･:*Mainly Makoto's POV, with Haru's POV-centric chapters. Fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, pining Makoto, and more fluff*:･ﾟ
1. Chapter 1

"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind."

* * *

Makoto Tachibana's life has a fairly regular rhythm – slightly boring, even. When he's not in lectures on whatever classic they're studying that semester, he's working part-time at a bakery near the college campus, and when he's not working, he's back at his apartment, studying and reading. He couldn't complain, though; he enjoyed college, and his professor, Miss Amakata, was sweet and intelligent. And he liked his job, too, even if it was exhausting and he always managed to spill a drink or drop a cookie.

Today, the bakery was pretty much dead, similar to how Makoto felt. He'd had to pull an all nighter to finish Love in the Time of Cholera, as he'd been a couple chapters behind the rest of his class for weeks. Makoto loved Marquez's writing style, but right now he was barely able to keep his eyes open.

"Mako-chan, are you alright?" Makoto perked up slightly at Nagisa's voice. His blond co-worker was perpetually chipper and cheerful, despite also being a full-time student. Maybe drama was just less taxing than literature. "

Just a little tired, that's all. Don't worry," said Makoto, attempting what he hoped passed as a reassuring smile.

"Can you watch the counter for a while? There's a load of washing up," explained Nagisa, pulling an exaggeratedly sad face.

"Sure," replied Makoto. "What time does Rei's shift start?"

Rei was another student working in the bakery part-time. He was majoring in physics, devoted to logic, his usual order was a jasmine tea, and his hobbies included running and reading. Makoto knew all this because Nagisa was so into Rei it physically pained Makoto that they weren't together yet.

Sure enough, at the mention of his crush's name, Nagisa's cheeks flushed pink. "At three, I think," he replied, bustling quickly into the kitchen.

Chuckling softly, Makoto leaned against the counter, eyelids heavy. The bakery was still empty, with their lunchtime clientele gone. He didn't expect many customers for at least another hour or so, when Rei's shift began and people began stopping off for drinks and snacks after college or work. His eyes were almost closed when he suddenly heard the twinkling of a bell, indicating he had a customer.

Makoto glanced up, and his breath hitched in his throat. Two boys, around Makoto's age, had entered the bakery. One of them was tall and had spiky red hair, the way he strutted into the cafe a clear sign of self-assurance and confidence. But it isn't him who Makoto is subconciously giving his attention to.

The second boy is absolutely stunning.

He's small and pale and has dark hair. He's dressed all in black, which makes his skin seem even paler. He looks anxious, half hiding himself behind the other boy. He has the most incredible eye colour Makoto's ever seen, the colour of the ocean in the middle of summer. Even from here, Makoto can practically feel their intensity. Suddenly, he's kind of glad Nagisa isn't here to say anything about the redness he can feel spreading across his cheeks, or the way his palms have suddenly turned sweaty and uncomfortable.

"H-hi," he stutters. "Can I help you?"

The redhead saunters over to the counter and grins at Makoto. "Can I get a double espresso to go, and—" he turns to the other boy, who was staring at the floor. "Haru, what do you want?"

"A, um, ah, a-a latte," he mumbles.

Haru.

Makoto thinks he's beautiful.

"A double espresso and a latte, coming up," says Makoto, moving over to the coffee machines. "Oh, sorry, did you want small, medium or large?" he asks, feeling slightly flustered.

"A large and a medium, thanks," replies the redhead.

Makoto can't shift the feeling that both the redhead and Haru are watching him intently, and as a result, his actions are clumsier than usual. He usually spills at least one drink while he's on shift, but right now, he feels particularly awkward. Maybe it's the redhead's intimidating appearance and slightly arrogant voice, or the way there's an image of Haru plastered in his mind, or a fatal combination of both.

As he's putting a lid on the redhead's coffee, Nagisa bursts out of the kitchen and Makoto promptly drops the entire cup.

"Shit!" he gasps without thinking, and both Nagisa and the redhead erupt into laughter. "Oh, god, I'm so sorry! Nagisa—"

Shaking with laughter, Nagisa waves his hand dismissively. "No big deal," he replies, giggling. "Let me do another for you."

Blushing furiously, Makoto quickly finishes Haru's latte and sets it on the counter just as Nagisa finishes the espresso.

"Oh, could we get a couple of these, too?" the redhead asks, apparently finished with his laughing fit. He's pointing at a plate of sugar cookies that Makoto remembers making the other day.

"Sure," he replies, happy to do something not involving hot water or machinery. He puts the bag of cookies next to the two cardboard cups, and slides them across the counter. As the redhead is paying Nagisa, Makoto senses eyes on him, and looks up at Haru, who's gazing at him intently. As soon as their eyes meet, Haru whips his head away, but the unexpected eye contact makes Makoto feel strange and warm. Even though Haru isn't looking at him, he smiles slightly.

It's too soon when the redhead grabs the coffees and cookies, thanking Nagisa and chuckling at Makoto once more, and suddenly they're both leaving and Makoto can't do anything except fix his eyes on Haru as he walks up the street and disappears round the corner.

"Wow," says Nagisa, giggling up at Makoto, "you like him."

Makoto can't disagree.

* * *

✧ﾟ･:* AN *:･ﾟ✧

this is completely unbeta'd, so if you find any spelling/grammar mistakes or have any suggestions, they're very much appreciated

title from the Gabriel García Márquez quote, "There is always something left to love.", from _One Hundred Years of Solitude. _I am a huge fan of Márquez (just like Makoto), and I have a few quotes from him collected that are going to influence the rest of the story.


	2. Chapter 2

"Magic can be found in stolen moments." – Francesca Lia Block

* * *

That night, Makoto can't stop thinking about Haru. He's known for a while now that he wasn't straight, but that hadn't prepared him for the rush of feelings he'd felt when he first saw Haru, feelings that were only being intensified by the distance between them. And he couldn't distract himself or focus on anything, at all.

First, he'd tried watching TV. After a few minutes, he'd switched it off, unable to concentrate on the show.

He decided to finish Love in the Time of Cholera, and put it down after a few pages. He couldn't stop thinking about Haru.

Eventually, he decided to phone Nagisa, who maybe wouldn't have the best advice but would at least listen to him.

"Hi, Mako-chan," said Nagisa sleepily when he answered the phone. "What's up?"

Makoto shrugged, forgetting that Nagisa couldn't see him. "I can't sleep, I guess?"

"You nearly fell asleep at the counter earlier," replied Nagisa. Suddenly, his voice brightened and he added: "Is it because of that boy from earlier?"

"W-what?" Makoto spluttered. He heard Nagisa giggling. Seriously, that kid was _always_ laughing at something.

"Ah, come on, Mako-chan," Nagisa crooned, "you definitely liked him."

"Maybe a little. Anyway, we probably won't see them again," replied Makoto, not registering the disappointment that rang in his voice. It was only then that he realised even though Haru had only been in the shop for ten minutes max and hadn't spoken a single word to Makoto, the shy, dark-haired boy's sheer presence had brightened Makoto's day significantly. He sighed deeply into the phone.

"Mako-chan," said Nagisa, his voice softer now, "it's pretty late and you were really tired today. Get some sleep."

Knowing his friend was right, Makoto said goodnight and hung up. Despite everything, sleep came to him easily that night.

* * *

The next day brought a strange calm with it. Makoto's initial passion over Haru had died down slightly, and he was able to spend a lazy morning in bed, finishing his reading and starting work on the draft of his end-of-term essay. His shift at the cafe only began at two, so he ambled over at one thirty to prepare for the afternoon rush.

"Good afternoon, Makoto-kun," Rei greeted him from behind the counter.

"Good afternoon, Rei-kun," Makoto smiled back at him. "Has it been busy?"

Before Rei could answer, Nagisa appeared through the kitchen door, holding a tray of cupcakes. "Mako-chan!" he said brightly, beaming at him. "Perfect timing!"

Makoto frowned briefly. "For what?" he asked.

"There's a lot of washing up to do," responded Nagisa, transporting the cupcakes from their tray to a stand on the counter.

When Makoto opened his mouth to protest, Nagisa shot a very blatant look at Rei, who was wiping up a spill on the countertop, oblivious. Taking the hint, Makoto grabbed his apron and walked into the kitchen. Expecting a mountain of dishes, he was surprised to see just a couple of mugs soaking in the sink, and smiled fondly when he remembered Nagisa's urgency to get him out of the way.

He began to work, and was elbow-deep in soapy water and bubbles when there was a frantic tapping on the door and Nagisa's head appeared, cheeks slightly flushed, grinning wildly. "Mako-chan!" he hissed. "Guess who's here?"

Makoto felt his chest tighten in anticipation. Surely Haru wasn't back already – but if he wasn't, there was nobody else Nagisa would be so excited about seeing. Breathing deeply, he stepped into the main part of the cafe.

Haru and the redhead were back.

Makoto smiled warmly at them. "Good afternoon," he said. "What can I get you?"

Like yesterday, the redhead placed the order for a double espresso and a latte, this time to drink in. Unlike yesterday, Makoto doesn't spill or drop anything. Unlike yesterday, the redhead and Haru don't wait at the counter, meaning Makoto will have to walk over to their table, hand them their coffees and walk back without spilling the drinks, dropping the mugs, falling over or tripping up. He considered asking Nagisa, then reminded himself of what would happen if Nagisa knew why Makoto couldn't walk over their.

Sighing, he walked over to their table, coffees in hand. Thankfully, he didn't fall over anything. "Here you go," he said nervously, placing the coffees down. "One large double espresso and a medium latte."

Haru didn't say anything, but the redhead grinned up at him. "Thanks. Oh—" he grabbed Makoto's arm as he turned to walk back. "My name's Rin," he said. "This is Haru."

Spluttering, Makoto smiles at Rin over-enthusiastically, and retreats back to the safety of the counter. As soon as he gets there, Nagisa nudges him in the ribs and winks suggestively, giggling.

"Nagisa, stop," hissed Makoto, painfully aware that Rin was still watching him.

Hiding a smile, Nagisa simply turned to help Rei with an order. For the rest of their shift, every time Makoto and Nagisa make eye contact, the blond wiggles his eyebrows and glances pointedly at Rin and Haru's table.

Sighing, but amused by Nagisa's antics, Makoto moves to begin serving the sudden influx of customers. It's at least half an hour before the queue numbers begin to dwindle and Makoto has a minute to himself. Thankfully, Haru's still at his table, Rin presumably in the toilet, and Makoto can see their clearly empty cups . With Rei busy with an order and Nagisa in the kitchen somewhere, Makoto resigned himself to his fate and walked over to the two boys.

"Did you want anything else?" he asked, picking the cups up. Before either of them can respond, however, Makoto notices a book lying on the table. "I'm writing my dissertation on that!" he gasped, almost dropping the mugs.

Obviously startled, Haru grabs the book and clutches it protectively.

"Sorry," continued Makoto. "I'm a big fan of Márquez. The General in His Labyrinth is my favourite book."

Haru is silent. Undeterred, Makoto carries on. "Do you read a lot of his work?"

Haru nods, and when he speaks, his voice is so quiet Makoto almost doesn't hear him. "One, um," he clears his throat. "_One Hundred Years of Solitude_," he said.

" '_Time was not passing, it was turning in a circle,_' " quoted Makoto, blushing furiously when he realised what he'd said. "Sorry. I'll take these,"

"Thank you," murmured Haru, hoping Makoto doesn't notice the slight pinkness spreading across his cheeks, or the way his breath is hitching in his throat, or the way his hands are shaking, sending tremors up his arms. With a final large, warm smile, Makoto walks back to the counter, leaving Haru alone once again, this time with a warmness spreading through his chest. It feels strange, but Haru likes it.

* * *

next time ~ cutesy, pining Makoto acting like every teenager who's ever had a crush ever, and hopefully some more information about Haru, depending on how the chapter works out.

as usual, all comments/critiques are very appreciated~~


	3. Chapter 3

**Pluviophile (n.) a lover of rain; someone who finds joy and peace of mind on rainy days**

* * *

AN~~ this chapter contains mentions of family death and depression, so if either of those topics triggers you at all, please don't carry on reading. My last intention with this story is to cause anybody serious distress, so I just wanted to give you a heads up (:

* * *

For the next few days, Makoto didn't have work, and was able to concentrate purely on college and getting _Love in the Time of Cholera _finished. When Saturday came, it brought an oasis of calm, Makoto safe in the knowledge he'd finished his reading assignment and didn't have work until the next day. Although he couldn't stop replaying his and Haru's conversation in his mind, overanalysing everything they'd said to each other, he appreciated having a day alone to clear his mind a little, a day when he could read and think and listen to the rain hitting his window.

With _Love in the Time of Cholera _finished, Makoto decided to read a different Márquez book; completely unrelated, obviously, to the one he now knew was Haru's favourite.

Cracking open _One Hundred Years of Solitude_, Makoto thought back over Haru's obvious nervousness the day before and wondered if he was simply shy, or there was some other reason for him being so quiet, unable to maintain eye contact with Makoto. There was something about Haru's shyness that Makoto found endearing, and kind of adorable.

But then again, Haru had clearly been uncomfortable, and Makoto hated the thought of making anybody feel like that. And on top of that, Rin seemed pretty protective of Haru, never leaving his side unless he had to use the bathroom, and even making his orders for him. A lump formed in Makoto's throat when he considered the closeness of Haru and Rin's relationship, and he frowned, trying to discard the thought. He hadn't seen that much actual interaction between the two, and they definitely didn't act like a couple.

Althought it wasn't as if Makoto had any experience of couples, or being in a relationship.

Sighing and unable to focus, he put the book down and closed his eyes, letting the sound of the storm outside wash over him and clear his mind.

He hadn't known someone like Haru before, who he felt inexplicably drawn to, and he wasn't sure what it meant. Of course he'd had _crushes _before but this felt different. When you can't think about somebody without it feeling like your internal organs are crashing into each other, he reasoned, they're probably something different.

Halfway across town, in the bakery, Nagisa was on shift with another college student, a quieter girl named Hana. Because of the rainstorm, it had been a quiet day so far, and Nagisa leaned on the counter for a while, basking in the silence. Hana was washing up in the kitchen, and their last customer had left a few minutes ago, leaving the bakery blissfully empty. Despite his extrovertedness, Nagisa liked a little quiet every now and then.

Since Makoto's last shift three days ago, Rin had been in every day, and the two boys had had a few conversations, giving Nagisa a chance to get to know him better. Haru hadn't been in, but Nagisa had noticed his shyness, and presumed that was the reason why he hadn't seen him.

He looked up when the bell over the door chimed, and smiled when he saw Rin and Haru entering. As usual, Rin was a few steps in front of Haru, and walking with his usual self-assured swagger. He knew the two boys' names after an impressively red-faced Makoto had recounted to him, in great detail, the time Rin had introduced himself. The way Makoto had reacted – shiny-eyed and rambling and slightly giggly – had reminded Nagisa of a puppy. A puppy who towered over Nagisa, but still a puppy.

"Rin-chan!" beamed Nagisa. "Double espresso, a latte and a sugar cookie?"

"Yeah," replied Rin, and Nagisa noticed he was lacking his usual verve. "Haru, do you want to go sit down? I'll bring your drink over,"

Silently, Haru nodded and walked over to their usual table, a tucked-away one in the corner.

Rin rested his elbows on the counter and leaned across to Nagisa. "Hey," he said, glancing at the blond's name tag. "Nagisa."

Nagisa looked up from the coffee machine, and slid across the floor to Rin. "Are you alright, Rin-chan?" he asked.

"Haru's had a really rough few days. I was kind of hoping Makoto would be here, because Haru seems to like him, but really he just needs something to cheer him up." Rin's expression was concerned and uncharacteristically serious, and Nagisa wondered if there was something serious going on.

"Has something happened to Haru-chan?" he asked, forgetting about the coffees.

Rin frowned, and broke eye contact with Nagisa for a moment. "Look, you can't go shoot your mouth off and tell anybody this, but Haru hasn't had it easy in a long time. He lost his mom when he was fourteen, and got really down for a really long time. Some scary stuff was going on in his mind, I guess."

"Is he..." Nagisa's troubled expression matched Rin's, and he thought carefully about what he was going to say. Figuring Rin was a straight-to-the-point person, he decided to just outright ask. "Does Haru-chan have depression?"

"For a while now, I'm guessing. He wasn't great when we met. And on top of that, he's got bad social anxiety too, and he's really introverted. Hates meeting new people, crowded places, that kind of thing. That's why I'm so surprised he likes Makoto so much."

Nagisa nodded understandingly. "He'll be here tomorrow. His shift starts at nine."

"Thanks," replied Rin. "Look, to be honest, I'm worried about Makoto. I don't want him to get Haru's hopes up. That kind of thing's happened before, people leaving Haru behind because of..." he trailed off.

"Don't worry," Nagisa said, smiling reassuringly. "Mako-chan's not that kind of guy. He's really understanding and kind, and I know for a fact that he really likes Haru-chan."

Rin laughed at that. "They've barely spoken ten words to each other!" he chuckled.

Nagisa laughed as well. "Makoto doesn't need a big conversation to know when he likes somebody," he explained, "and he definitely likes Haru-chan."

Looking slightly reassured, Rin glanced over at Haru and smiled at him, hoping that Nagisa wasn't lying. Because even though Haru hadn't let on quite how much he liked Makoto, and despite his friend's stoic exterior, Rin could tell that Haru was in pretty deep.

* * *

So this was a very difficult chapter to write, but I promise lots of Reigisa fluff in the next chapter to make up for it :)

as always, comments are very appreciated and the feedback I've recieved so far means a lot to me~~


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